I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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