I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
