Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
