dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
