i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize