You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
