I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
