There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
