Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
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debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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