i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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