All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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