so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
