bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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