Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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