So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
