i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
