I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
