whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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