I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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