She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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