Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
