If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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