i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The best revenge is premature balding
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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