A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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