I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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