I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
