new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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