I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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