Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
