woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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