I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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