You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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