What a fucking waste of an outfit
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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