Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just blew my weed a kiss
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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