They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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