just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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