did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
