Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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