should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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