My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
