he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
