We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize