on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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