i just google imaged poop.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
