how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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