TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
