I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
