we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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