Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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