your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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