Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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