My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
