Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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