this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
