So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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