it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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