But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
