At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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