it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
