ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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