I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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