In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
