hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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